I am grateful for the life experiences that have given me wisdom. The beauty with adulthood is a deeper self-realization. I recognize the wonderful uniqueness within me that makes me special. I am working on developing the emotional maturity to take responsibility for my flaws and the discipline to work on them.
If we are lucky, we have a great support system of friends, family, therapist, cats, and so on to get us through those challenging moments where we falter. I will likely falter.
We have all come across people who have helped shape our character. Once in a while, there are those who emphasize or enable the undesirable facets of our personality. I have tried my best to avoid those people however I think it might be more about facing myself than avoiding them. Each of us have positive traits that help define us, guide us... then there are our flaws.
Some are habits that can consume you, redefine you. It's a choice. You can dwell on them, crippling growth. Or, you can understand, love, and build a stronger you. This takes acceptance, effort, and readiness. But most importantly, it takes time. So forgive yourself and forgive others.
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I'm passionate about everything I do. Recently, I got into a disagreement. Words were exchanged and rash decisions were made. I discovered that I have a hard time letting my guard down because I'm afraid of getting abandoned. In this particular situation, it manifested itself into a dichotomy of apathy and high emotion. I'm aware that this defense mechanism generally results in either exhausting people or pushing them away. This negative outcome has made me realize what I really want: to be a better person. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes someone you care about to expose the warped canvas in which you paint on. It isn't desirable and I know that it isn't easy to accept but it's the first step to creating the masterpiece I've always wanted. It's a cheesy Instagram quote but it's true that each lesson you learn is worth the experience. Stay strong and warm wishes to all you perfectly, imperfect humans.